Connection with God

Written By:

February 12, 2012

It’s right there. Is it the same for you? Just through the dense fog of reality. Take a left turn past fantasy – there you’ll find it. It’s that place. A place many say doesn’t exist. A place for which I have no physical proof, but it’s there. I promise.

When I need to, I can retreat to this place. I should go there more often. It’s a destination I should find myself in, as part of a disciplined life, but I don’t. Though I neglect it, though, like a run down hovel, I ignore it, it waits for me.

The hair on my neck stands on edge. The wind skips over my skin just right. I take a breath, and I’m there. I’m gone. I’m nowhere to be found, but found finally. Time, my hauntingly present muse, ceases to have meaning. Space, our grounding constant, is warped and morphed, bent and twisted, leaving me somewhere, and nowhere, but the ancient familiarity washes over me with the rhythmic precision of an ebbing tide.

There is a sudden lack of everything. Worry disappears. Fear is stripped away, as my excited heart quickens. Too long have I avoided this place. Too long have I, bluntly and brutally, forced my way through the murky mire, when waiting, patiently, like a long suffering ally, the quiet beckons.

Silence. It is overwhelming. My ears, stunned to be useless, ring helplessly in protest. My eyes blink, curiosity fueling their dilation. There is no up. There is no down. Spatial orientation re-written, while my soul leaves its undefined cavity and covers my ailing flesh. I am poured. I am spilled. I am left empty. All that was dark, all that was failed and broken, runs out of me, leaving a cavity aching to be filled.

In the emptiness, in the silence, in the void, I am filled once more. I am renewed. I am re-born. Once again in the throne room, on supplant knee before the creator, I find the strength to open my eyes.

Reluctantly I return. Reluctantly the quiet time ends, and as a dog returns to its vomit, I return to a life of neglect.


  • Rico Boeras

    I have found that there are times that I have struggled with inner weakness for way too long. I would experience victories and improvement, just not total victory. The battle was hard fought and slow. But then there are times in my life that I have had these throne room experienes where things just seemed to wash away in an instant, all by the glory of God, just a moment in His presence. The lyrics by Jesus Culture paints a good picture ” …In the glory of your presence / I find rest for my soul / In the depths of your love / I find peace makes me whole”. There is a lesson to be learned in the hard fough battles, and there is great pleasure and victory to be found in the throne room. Another excellent blog Christian!

  • Mrs. Lemon

    I thought for a moment you were describing the mysterious place you are hurled into when your favorite cars drive by. . . ;) hehe

    Great post Dear :) :)

  • Justin

    I feel like I’m in a Walt Whitman poem.

  • http://thirdoptionmen.org/author/evandawson Evan Dawson

    Christian- I always feel that surreal presence of a deeper reality when watching series like Narnia and LOTR, even though they’re based in fantastic realms. You hit it here!

    Justin- ‘Song of Myself’ is one of my favorite works!

  • Christian Lemon

    Rico – I was just imagining what it felt like to pilot a Porsche . . .

    Wife – how appropriate you make a car reference. You know me so well.

    Justin – high praise indeed (I think, never sure with you :: winks ::). Thank you, my friend.

    Evan – your beard is out of control in that pic. Love it!

  • Justin

    Oh I don’t know anything about poetry, I didn’t know I was praising. It just sounds like that kind of thing. Even though I’m an artist in some sense of the word, poetry is completely lost on me. Too floaty for my taste.

  • Christian Lemon

    Justin,

    Oh, so it was a backhanded insult. Perfect. Stick to being upfront with your criticism. You’re better at that.

  • Rico Boeras

    So the whole tease with the Boxster “S” as in Super fast kinda stuck with you! I was winding out the gears today, wondering if you still wanted to drive this little machine. The only problem is, I hear you like to street race… could that spell disaster for the Boxster?

  • Christian Lemon

    Rico,

    One, didn’t realize you offered to let me DRIVE! Thought you said ride. This changes everything. Prepare to be annoyed by me, often!

    Two, define “disaster.” Would I wreck your car? Nope. Would I drive it like an idiot? Nope. I’m pretty good at this thing called driving. Plus, I might break some commandments, so strong is my lust and desire for German vehicles, so yours would be safe around me.

    Street racing . . . yeah a vice for sure. 99.9$% of my driving is safe, normal, and un-interesting (no tickets in 7 years, no accidents ever). But, should the moment arise . . . well that’s why we drive fun cars right?

  • Justin

    I openly admitted that I don’t know anything about poetry. I don’t know how to be more straightforward.

    Same with cars. Even if i told you I thought your car was lame, it wouldn’t mean anything since I have no knowledge or experience to inform my decision. (By the way, I don’t think your car is lame, or this article, for the record. Like I said, I wouldn’t even know how to judge if this was good or bad.)

  • Rico Boeras

    @ Christian. Did I say ride….drive….Oh my. My mind must be going (again). I better get back on my meds! No hard feelings bro…I just like to have a little fun. Maybe someday, but lets start with a ride, ME driving.